lol.. found this earlier :laugh:
Tim Hortons Rules of Engagement...Follow them or be
Please feel free to pass them along so that we can make
the world a better place.
1) When you enter a Tim Hortons and see a line to one
side of the restaurant that DOES NOT mean that you can start another line on the other side.
PENALTY: TOO MANY LINES. People guilty of this
infraction must buy coffee for everyone in the original line.
2) If you cannot see the donut you want available in the display you CANNOT ask for it since the server will then go into the back and eventually return and tell you that - guess what - they don't have it!
PENALTY: DELAY OF GAME. People guilty of this infraction
must return to the end of the line.
3) The Drive-Thru is for ordering coffee and donuts
ONLY. If you need to order a sandwich or soup get out of your car and go inside, you lazy slob! It takes too long and they'll probably get your order wrong any ways so save some greenhouse emissions and remember - NO ORDERING FOOD IN THE DRIVE-THRU!
PENALTY: OVER ORDERING. People guilty of this infraction
will have their tires deflated on the spot.
4) Cleaning of the Hot Chocolate and Flavoured Coffee
machines is FORBIDDEN during times where there are actually customers in the store. What kind of business takes a product off-line in the middle of the day?!
PENALTY: UNNECESSARY CLEANLINESS. Staff guilty of this infraction will be forced to eat hot, spicy food, then placed in restraints just out of the reach of a nice cool glass of water for a hour.
5) Placing the lids on the "to-go" cups so that the
drink opening lines up with the crease in the cup is a crime against humanity since it has the same effect as gag dribble-cups. Plus, exactly how hard is it to miss that crease when placing the lid on any ways? Yet it seems to happen more than 50% of the time.
PENALTY: ILLEGAL LID ON THE CREASE. Staff guilty of this
must floss with barbed wire for a week.
6) Franchise owners who open up a store with a
Drive-Thru that can't handle at least ten cars in line are a traffic menace. Caffeine addiction is a scary thing that will cause people to stop dead on busy streets just to keep a position in line at the Drive-Thru.
PENALTY: INTERFERENCE. Owners guilty of this infraction
will be forced to order their meals via the empty Wendy's Drive-Thru next door for a month.
7) Going on a coffee run to Tim's for five or more
people is a non-starter. Firstly, you'll never remember what everyone ordered correctly. Secondly, you don't have a hope in hell of carrying that stuff back out to your car. Lastly, it will take too long!!! That nice person behind you in line was under the impression that you were just going to order your coffee and go. BUT NO, you have to take 5-10 minutes of our lives while your botch the order then juggle the cups back to your vehicle. Get some backbone - force others to come with you. No more than two orders per person, thank you!
PENALTY: OVER TWO MINUTE WARNING. People guilty of this infraction will be forced to drink ALL of the coffee they have ordered and eat ALL the food. Doing this same infraction via the Drive-Thru = public flogging.
8) During Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win time all cups left
unattended and unrolled for more than one minute are free game to anyone else. Since we know that all the really good prizes are only meant for people in Ontario we've only got a limited shot at anything decent so watch your cups!
PENALTY: INELIGIBLE ROLLER. People guilty of this
infraction must forfeit any prizes won past or present to the new roller.
9) Staff who fail to recognize that you are a creature
of habit and order the same thing everyday for over a year at the same Tim Horton's and still meet you with blank stares and an indifferent "What can I get you?" are inflicting an inhuman mental torture. Isn't that what the commercials are all about? Where are the smiles and a hearty "The usual, Bob?"
PENALTY: INCOMPLETE RECOGNITION. Staff guilty of this infraction must be subjected to proof of identify and a strip search every time they try to pick up their pay check.
10) Showing up at you son/daughter's hockey game with a
coffee from another outlet than Tim Horton's is VERBOTEN! What are you
some kind of troublemaker? Don't you know the way we do things around here?
PENALTY: ILLEGAL COFFEE. People guilty of this must
clean the ice with their tongues between periods.
11) staff who ask "can I help you" and then decide "hey, now's a great time to make another pot of coffee as I forgot and now am running low....this poor slob won't know the difference as I sneak about behind the machines here" and then the 3 people who were in line BEHIND you get served by the other cash and are long gone as THEIR doughnie-person is on the ball while you stand there and try to burn holes in your server with your laser-beam glare...
PENALTY: STAFF MISCONDUCT. Staff guilty of this are immediately reassigned to clean up cigarette butts in the parking lot.
12) staff who ask "TO GO?" for each item that you order - if you order a coffee "TO GO", do you really think I am going to leave my toasted cinnamon-raisan bagel behind for the next person in line, huh,? Think pal, think!
PENALTY: UNNECESSARY ROUGHING OF CUSTOMER. Staff person will be assigned to the drive through window for a week where I and all my buddies will drive through every morning and after giving our order (as slowly as we can), will interrupt the staff person after the entire order is given and say "oh....and...um....by the way, that's TO GO!"