Hockey Fan Forums banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

3,041 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
"So, who's the greatest hockey player of all time?"
It's a hoary, old argument that needs to be retired.(Besides, Don Cherry says Bobby Orr is the greatest, so that's that.)
Slam! Sports poses a different question: If you were to build the Ultimate Hockey Player, body part by body part, whose eyes would you use? Whose legs? Whose knuckles?
We asked an all-star cast of NHLers, writers and analysts to select players, past and present, whose prime attributes will be used to build our hockey Frankenstein.

We were looking for the best:
Brains for on ice smarts
Eyes for on-ice vision
Shoulders for carrying his team when needed
Chest for upper-body strength
Elbows for, well, elbowing
Knuckles for fighting
Bum for hip checking
Legs for speed
Feet for agility
Cojones for being ballsy
Hands for stickhandling
Heart for desire
Teeth,or lack thereof, for 'hockey' smiles
Mouth for using words to agitate
Nose and hair for overall hockey appearance
And Liver, for the ability to regale fans and fellow players alike with colourful stories over a pop or two.

The Ultimate Hockey Player:

Brains - Wayne Gretzky (Runner-up Nicklas Lidstrom)
Hair - Ryan Smyth (Runner-up Jaromir Jagr(Early 90's edition)
Eyes - Wayne Gretzky (Runner-up Sidney Crosby)
Nose - Tim Hunter (Runner-up Tiger Williams)
Shoulders - Mark Messier (Runner-up Martin Brodeur)
Mouth - Matthew Barnaby (Runner-up Ken Linseman)
Chest - Zdeno Chara (Runner-up Georges Laraque)
Teeth - Bobby Clarke (Runner-up Dany Heatley)
Elbows - Gordie Howe (Runner-up Mark Messier)
Heart - Steve Yzerman (Runner-up Mark Messier)
Wrists - Bobby Hull (Runner-up Joe Sakic)
Liver - Teemu Selanne (Runner-up Toe Blake)
Knuckles - Georges Larague (Runner-up Dave Semenko)
Hands - Mario Lemieux (Runner-up Kent Nilsson)
Bum - Rob Blake (Runner-up Scott Stevens)
Cojones - Darcy Tucker (Runner-up Mike Keane)
Legs - Pavel Bure (Runner-up Paul Coffey)
Feet - Pavel Bure (Runner-up Bobby Orr)

Took me a while to find this but it is from The Toronto Sun paper published on December 24th.

Would anyone change anything on this "Ultimate NHL player"?

712 Posts
Brains - Sundin
Eyes - Yzermna
Shoulders - Mcinnis
Chest - Jagr
Elbows - Gallinger
Knuckles - Boogaard
Bum - Lecavlier haha
Legs - Bure
Feet - Bure
Cojones - AVERY
Hands - Afinogenov
Heart - Gretzky
Teeth- Roenick
Mouth - Avery
Nose and hair - Roenick
And Liver - Chara

306 Posts
Amanda said:
Cojones - Darcy Tucker?
That's just funny.Yeah took a lot of stones to sucker punch Danny Lacroix.

Oh yeah,the Laraque menton for knuckles was pretty funny too.Considering how he seldom actually throws a punch.

Two and throw the man to the ice.
1 - 5 of 5 Posts